you don't need to unbutton her shirt just to see a real view of what is she inside..
you rock, mare.. :D
wala lang.. :D ang bagay na pinaghihirapan ay isang bagay na makabuluhan..at hindi diyan natatapos ang paghihirap ko.. minsan pag may topak ang commanding officer of the day ay patatakbuhin ka niya hanggang sa mahingal ka at pagkatapos ay pumping na kaagad.. naranasan ko nga ang 290 pumping at one year o 365.. nakapagpush-up rin ko noon.. pero ang hindi ko malilimutan ay pagpupush-up na ang kamay ng pinuno ay nasa ibaba.. [alam mo na yun], pero ang punto doon ay para maging determinado ka na maiangat ang sarili mong bigat.. haay.0 training pa lang yan.. wala pa ang survival.. so ang survival..?
btw, we’ll be having our pictorials for our yearbook on monday, january 19, 2008.. i’ll be wearing a toga, at last and at least.. at last because after 4 straight years, i’ll be graduating.. at least because it’s not what i wished for [i always dream of having pictures that will speak about my high school not just my graduation.. it’s boring..]..
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point of inquiry.. have you ever meet a love doctor?
i need to have a session with him/her.. i’m having insomnia, and some says that if you can’t sleep in the middle of the night, it means that there is someone deeply thinking of you.. is it true? or just an another bunch of myth and shushes.. another thing is, if pimples occur, then you're really in love.. why is it so? does that mean that i’m profoundly in love that’s why i’m having acne vulgaris.. the love sick? is there a genuineness behind it..? if there is, then can someone explain why i’m having this purported afternoon weakness.. there are so many questions and i need an urgent answer..
well, those are just symptoms of my undefined illness.. but my real reason behind this consultation is that.. “is it right to be jealous if someone loves the one you loved?”; my point is this so-called commitment thing and my possessiveness.. ok, here is the situation.. i have a partner [my gf], i’m a year ahead of her and then she has this classmate slash friend slash lover.. before you met each other, they’ve been going out and bonds with each other.. but then you came into the scene and you’re her love.. now the issue, is it right for you to be a little bit scallop [shellfish but i used it as a term for selfish] and demand her to stay away with her friend who recently opened up to her that she’s still the love of his life? is it right for me to be jealous knowing that i have only about 3 months to hang about our time before graduation? i’m hysterical..
we’re currently into this confrontation trying to patch things up.. and then she told me that i have no trust.. t.r.u.s.t.? haay.o i am not losing the reliance and faith because if i mislaid it, then there’s no reason to hang on coz i had stop believing and there’s no point for commitment if love is fleecing.. now, from my own point of view, the real concern here is how to manage the green-eyed mindset.. i’m invidious about seeing them having lot of time to each other while i can’t even had a glimpse of her time; i envied everything about them because i hate and i’m scared of the fact that there is someone loving the one i loved and the one i loved can’t surrender him because of their friendship.. yes, i consider that they are really friends, but what i can’t assure of myself is the fact that there is someone who can takes the advantage of taking my place.. i’m disgusted with the fact that there is someone that can replace me.. but i can’t blame them, maybe i was in the wrong side, i’m the wrong one and it’s really my fault for being the green-eyed.. how i wish i could bear the pain..
i want to set her free because i know that i just can’t take good care of her but thinking of it makes me feel that it will just make me feel worse.. it seemed that i love her but i just can’t take the consequences of loving her.. ‘alam kong hindi na siya masaya sa akin at napapaisip ako na bigyan naman siya ng laya dahil nasasakal na siya sa akin.. pero parang ayaw ko kasi parang ang sakit sa part ko.. para siyang halaman na kinuha ko ng buong-buo pero di ko naman kayang alagaan.. gusto ko siyang maging masaya pero kung magiging masaya siya sa iba ay mas mabuting magdusa na lang siya sa akin.. napakaselfish ko talaga.. alam ko ngang di ko na kayang alagaan pero di ko magawang bitiwan.. siguro nga mahal ko lang siya.. and i believe na yung love na yun is the only way to make things right.. but kung totoo nga yun,
i’m not the one you needed, i love you and i wish it won’t be goodbye..




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