woah.. disappointments, jealousy, appreciations, etc are beyond the rush of my veins as of the moment... the pressure makes me weak and it pushes the world through at my back... the green sucks, it makes me suffer and i'm totally hurt but i can't fall on my knees and cry... shoooOoooO!

first thing in the morning is filled with plenty or shall i say abundant discouragement... it's not the sermons at home or the sound system at my ears when i woke up, i'm used with these stuffs,... anyways, it's unusual.. the tears at my cheeks is a thing i can't deny when i was taking a bath, at least no one ever heard of it... tsug-tsug-tsug... i knew it but i haven't expected it at that time.. so it's clear... it's undefined, yet if it has took its definition i won't even tell it to anyone, but i assume it doesn't exist... this feeling doesn't exist anymore... no space at my cold and dumb heart... kung ano man to, ewan ko...

next, the election... sounds great, confident but not that ensured of what might happen few days from now.. the thing is i'm not contented on what is happenning, everything is not me, it's really not me... enough with this coz if one of my classmate or schoolmate, heard of this and caught this stuff, he/she will brag it and as usual... sira na naman ako... i'm not that capable as anyone think i am.. but if i'm taking this, it must be with purpose...

i'm green-eyed lately.. i'm irritated with lovers all around the campus, i don't know why but it seems to be somewhat implementing a sign of all or nothing...

duh...standing ovation on math class, criticism on research... i'm glad i'm not one of them but i felt guilty in a way that i can't help them... those with 7 0r 8 below are at the back - standing, those who passed are on seat.. anyways, i'm with the three students sitting there, i got eleven out of 15... on research, awards were given with those "effectivity", "accpetability" and "medicines"... no to yourn, yes to charr...

whew! welcome to salitaang mangmang... ang matatalino ay nagiging bobo... kailangang mangmang ka para maunawaan mo ito...

so ano, napuno na buh ang kati mo..?♥:[

i'm planning few thing as of now..but i'm having hard time to decide if i will or i won't.. whew!.. lots of random things are making me half crazy, i'm fed up already..zzzzz.♥

uhm, our school's student body org is now open for candidates for governor, tomorrow will be the filing of candidacy, the day after it and after that day will be the electoral room-to-room campaign, then after it - - - - it's election... ang bilis ng mga pangyayari, marami pa ang gumugulo sa isip ko, the line-up, the party, the supporters (kung meron man), and etc.. hectic na ang schedule eh, tambak amg mga quizzes, pati na rin ang tang inang research projects, woah... di ko na alam ang gagawin, duh... what do you think? to run or not to run..?

next are my pimples.. grrr! nakakainis, lahat ay pinupuna na ito... i don't know what to do, all i want is to get rid of it...marami na akong naaply sa face ko pero tsk... wala lang, gumastos lang ako sa wala, imbes na mawala ay dumami pa... aurgh.. sabi ng iba, i need to sleep... paano ako makakatulog nito? PDA taz, movies ang time ko sa gabi at di lang yan, nocturnal ata toh.. buti na lang at wala akong load kasi pag meron, inaabot ako ng umaga sa text-text lang.. akalain mo yun... di na ako nakakatulog at nakakapag-aral... buti ngayon at bawas na... anyways, do i have to sleep early..? must i or must not..?

last.. to write my prevalentine madness... marami na akong feelings na naimbak ngayon, masyado na akong emo (i hate emo pa naman), di ko alam, naiiyak ako sa mga kantang di ko maipaliwanag, parang pagod na pagod ako na wala naman akong ginagawa.. sus, gusto kong iexpress lahat ng to pero wala akong outlet, di ako makapagshare sa mga close ko, siguro dahil gusto kong malaman muna ng involve bago ng iba... ayoko ko naman na parang di siya involve sa akin diba, open kasi kami... woah, marami na akong nasabi na di ko dapat sabihin.. madaldal na ko... kelangan ko bang sulatan siya, o hahayaan ko lang na siya ang makapuna..?

kayo na ang bahala.. need help...
sa tingin mo...
saan na buh ako..?♥

uhm, it's quite amazing how some people always misunderstand the way i am, the way i act, and the way i used to be... i try to cope up with it but i can't, i can't just pretend and play the game at the same time... there's a lot of complication over here... i want to freak out and screw up but i just can't, i'm totally confused, and now i'm tired... whew... as the blood rushes to my adrenalin, i'm turning numb... faces of several personas keep on gushing to my mind, it's almost full, i want to cry out loud that no one could ever heard the sound of it... maybe this is wrong, but i'll keep on being blind to it so it won't hurt, won't hurt that much... and i don't care... i hope if you are reading this, help me out...


pagod na talaga ako,
di ko na kaya...:[
pero heto pa rin ako...
i had lost myself,
but i can't let go...
i want to embrace sudden death...
pwede bang magrecess muna ako...?

hahanapin ko lang sandali ang nawala sa sarili ko...

My LiMeRicK…

Chronic is this feeling bursting in my sensitivity,
Halt, I said to myself but I really can’t, I guess…
Alleviating in my nerves, anticipating my ambiguous jeopardizing phantasm,
Ridiculous isn’t it? So absurd yet so rational…
Like loving ludicrously someone like you in a legendary love story,..
Enough for this I oppose coz I’m getting innocent and very naïve…
Naïve? – I’m always unsophisticated but I’m fervid!
Emancipation of my desultory endeavor is the only thing I’m opt to as of now…

Guaranteed you are with my grotesque glamour like me as your shining knight-errant,
Am always here for you,... I can’t promise but I’m trying my best to do so.
Lean on me and I’ll listen to your languid laments so as a lover trying to please his gal,
Enchanting yet effervescent but my pessimisms truly deteriorate with you right by my side…
Needless to say but I’m between the devil and the deep blue sea thinkin’ of you…
Zealot I will be for you only coz you make my heart go devil-may-care,
Overwhelming inside my soul’s optimism in this dilemma… you really are my guardian angel.
God did really sent you to fill my incompleteness in this chivalrous quest for life,
And for that, forever will I love you until my postmortem…♥ +”>”>



..dedicated to my one and only... on this happy love day...♥

Everything….

hakhak…. Let me start this ‘chikahan’ with a pambungad mula sa mga nakaraan… I’m referring to my childhood memoirs… noon, araw-araw kaming naglalaro sa harapan ng bahay namin… wala lang, xeir xeir lang… pero ito na talaga ang everything na tinutukoy ko… wahahaha… ang dati kong kalaro ay buntis na! [omg]… unbelievable talaga… hamakin mo buh namang halos magkaedad lang kami – 15… haaay.o as in, dami na talagang pagbabago sa lugar naming…dati rati ay magkakasabay pa kami kung maligo.. hakhak… mga bata pa kasi eh…pero ngayon, di kuh talaga expected, manganganak na ata sa susunod na buwan… buti na nga lang at pinanagutan yung anak niya… at ito pa, yung pinakmatalik kong prend, sus, ayun… tumigil na sa pag-aaral kasi nahumaling na sa pagtugtog, pinagkakakitaan kasi eh, next year na lang daw mag-aaral…halos din na ako makasabay sa agos ng panahon ngayon… iba na ata ang trend nila eh…

Brainstorming….

at ito na ang brainstorming part.. ang nakakainis na titser namin ay nagbigay buh naman ng tambak na research works…at di lang yan huh, kinakailangang magformulate ng limang research titles individually… at heto ako ngayon, di pa rin nakapag-isip kung ano ang study ko all about, tsk, tsk…ang isang klasmet ko ay nagsuggest na ang study namin ay about sa movable house, yung tipong foldable at di na kinakailangang maghakot ng gamit pag naisipang lumipat…lolz…masyado naman ata yong imposible…kaya pinalitan na lang niya ng isang kotse na maaring icrumple at ilagay sa bulsa para di na magbayad ng violation kung sakaling nagkamali sa pagpark…di hamak na walang puwang iyan sa mundo… heto ang ilan sa mga titles ng mga seatmates ko:

1. The feasibility of turning Chemistry as Calculus…(waaah! Ano toh? Pwede buh toh? Mukha naman atang nagloloko si Jue uh..)
2. Utilization of brief as cellular phone…(mas lalo na toh, brief, mo buh naman ang gawing cellphone, eh pano kung may nagtext..? di hindi mo malalaman unless magvibrate… kaw talaga Norman…)
3. Electric Fan with TV...(what can you say? Talaga naming kakaiba to dbuh..? di ka na mabobored sa kakahabol ng hangin… hahaha..)
4. Self-controlled Robot versus Asimo…(mas ambisyoso ata toh uh… sino kaya ang makakagawa nito…)
5. Internet-based flood maker...(ibang level na toh… noon internet-based na flood alarm, ngayon internet-based na flood maker…? Sino naming hangal ang magpopost sa internet ng machine na wawasak sa mundo…? Lolz :D)
6. Papaya peelings as lotion...(ito pa, noon papaya ang lotion ngayon peelings na, ano kaya ang magyayari sa gagamit nito…. Hakhak..)

Ano kaya ang magiging study ko..? ehem, meron ka buh naisip..? patulong naman oh…sa tingin mo..sus, peste talaga… di na ata ako papasa nito… magnonovena na lang ako…God bless na alng sa akin…♥
Everything….

Uhm, 17 ngayon.. and so what..? well, it’s time to start the day right with a vision in mind…

Quote of the day:
“People assume that they know me even without trying or tending to get to know me, and judge me from my actions without knowing my own reasons behind it…○

Emote of the day:
“If dying is all what it takes to be with her, I’ll freely embrace death coz I’ll surely walk the same fate if she’s not with me…♥

Questions of the day:
“How can we love people who don’t seem to make things worth at all?
Why do we become so numb caring for people whom at times don’t even think of us in a day or two?
Why do we let ourselves hurt and continue hoping for a love that makes us defenseless?
And why do we prioritize this people who only choose us as options?
Are these the reasons why sometimes in love, we end up losing ourselves..?

Plan of the day:
To learn how to play DOTA… lolz:D

Song of the day:
Uhm, ‘gugmang giatay’… yan muna sa ngayon hanggang sa susunod na lingo… ewan ko buh, di naman ako bisaya pero nahuhumaling ako rito….next week, abangan niyo, balik Jason mraz naman ako mga kabagang – you and I both na siguro ako next week..

Sonnet of the day:
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments; love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no, it is an ever-fixèd mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his highth be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
-shakespearean sonnet-

this is all.. the end.. XOXO..♥

as usual... what an awful the day today is...! whew!

well, i've nothing to share after all, just want to write and update this stupid blog,...

anyway...

today is independence day, and i told you it's nothing but the usual day as i thought..but to my surprsise... ako'y naatasan na mangolekta ng mga flaglets at saka ilagay sa daan, it was a bit embarassing as it seems to be.. but i fairly did my part... ngunit, datapwat, subalit, pero, alalaong napaunta lang sa wala ang pinagpaguran ko... at alam mo buh kang bakit...? unang-una, dahil pinagkukuha ng mga drayber, na wala ng ginawa kindi magtaas ng presyo sa pamasahe, ang mga flaglets dahil di raw pwede bumiyahe na walang flag... aba! at di lang yan, masyado pang mapili huh.. ayaw nilang tanggapin yong binagay ko kasi raw papel lang, at nag-utos pa na yung tela na lang daw... aseheseh, mukha naman atang wala iyong kwenta uh, pesteng mama huh...! at di lang yan, yung ibang namamasahero, akalain mo bang sinagasa nila ang mga kaawa-awang bandila.. huh..? walang respeto sa araw ng kalayaan...

maliban diyan ay nagkaroon kami ng aming kauna-unahang pagsusulit, at tamang-tama na perpek ang kuha kuh,.. nakz! 15 items nga lang pero at least 100%, at Math pa yan... lolz :].. at di lang yan na-elect din ako bilang president ng MATH Club, hehe.. bwenas na araw... buti na lang at di umalma si "who the hell he thinks she is"... haha..

ang sabi ko wala akong sasabihin pero, kitamz..?

ang daldal kuh talaga.. sobra!♥

caution: what you had read is right... who the hell he thinks she is....
Guess who this crap is…
check this out.. you might have an idea who he/she is..

well, i’ll start being conceited with this annoying CLOWN..
uhm, first of all he/she is really exasperating! the way he/she talks seems to be insulting or a bit unmindful what might others feel when he/she begins to talk. he/she always make me go out of my shell and embarks me to be aggressive. as a queer observation and based from evidences, testimonies from witnesses, facts, etc. from some of my reliable sources, i found out that he/she backstabs me… that’s not really fair! he/she criticizes me with no valid reasons and i mean no harm to him/her since we had met…now that he/she started an ember, i’ll turn it to big fire that will swallow him/her…

it’s pissing me off when he/she starts to speak…not because of his/her words that might impair me but due to unexplainable stink coming from any part of his/her body…his/her breath almost gulp me…this might be exaggerating but when it comes to him/her? i just want to faint and forget that we had an awful talk after all…[f][a][c][t]: and to prove this, one of my classmate confess to me that she (whose identity is confidential) often holds her breath not to inhale that stench when she is talking to him/her..[omg] it’s a dire yet I can assure you that 5 or more of us agree with her statement… whew! sometimes, he/she is very talkative and sensible to converse with but his/her thoughts are quite good, it won’t bored you for sure…yet his/her ‘breathing problem’ infuriates us that’s why when are talking with him/her we always take along deep breath to insure that his/her blood-boiling odor won’t knock us down…and here’s another one, he/she keeps on commenting others of what they smell –“ambot sa imo uh, kabaho sa imo…(chuckles) [your smell sucks..]” – without even trying to smell what he/she reeks like.. eew! here’s a five star for him/her for having that gross attitude!

this thing, for sure, is disgusting…can you imagine a radio or a machine gun’s ‘bratatatat’ on a meek room especially when you are having a review before the exam? it’s sordid! my classmates often complain because instead of concentrating on assessing recent lessons, they spend too much time covering their ears! [f][a][c][t]: a friend of mine had lose her temper and wipes her tears falling on her cheeks because she can’t have a peaceful time studying her lessons…grrrr! almost 30% of the class are cramming on the makeshifts, under the trees, study area, etc. before the exam rather than in classroom because of the same foul reason…based on my analysis, it’s an adaptation…according to my friends, it’s a technique on distracting others’ attention in order to solely get a good grade (he/she had been studying all night long and when he/she feels that he/she is ready to take the exams, he/she begins his/her attack).. it’s quite a marvelous attack as it seems to be innocence on a keen eye…grrr! here’s another plus – 3 stars – for making the class his/her own study territory.

since we are talking bout grades, let me share to you his/her most embarrassing assault! it’s a good thing to cheat… i admit that i cheat! it’s an honest mistake though… but it’s normal, it can’t be denied that all defrauds…my teacher told me that “it’s better to cheat than to repeat..”…yeah, it’s definitely true but not with these too dirty tactics…[f][a][c][t]: third year on the first grading: he/she asks the nearest classmates on him/her answers on questions he/she can’t answer plus stretching his/her ‘giraffe’s neck’ and ‘binoculars eyes’… it’s normal! everyone does it, it’s undeniable…second grading: he /she begins his/her simplest attack… he/she manipulates the results of his/her test on our subject with two units.. that’s unpardonable offense! almost 20 points increase is really an unfair felony and he/she let his/her checker seemed liar in front of our teacher.. tsk, tsk, tsk…third grading: he/she put his/her reviewer below his/her armchair.. and of course you can’t peep on it because it was upside down but this one is clever! he/she designed his/her codes folded so you can flip it up.. wise.. too wise…fourth grading: this might be funny but it’s still dirty… the honor students were isolated on a room where they are the only person authorized taking the test.. well, of course security was tight but he/she prevailed! he/she wrote some notes on his pants, and sit on a ‘de quatro’ position and there he/she goes, it’s all done…tsk! here’s 10 more stars for earning dirty tactics.

this will be the final as of now… and this regards personal issues between us…i bet he/she’s a bit insecure of me…[f][a][c][t]: as noticed, he/she always ban me on my nominations for certain positions on organizations and clubs either as presidents or intermission leaders…every time i’m recommended, he/she jests on my classmates that “wag nayan si edwin, masyado na siyand busy ngayon” or “sus, puwera gaba! si edwin, din na pwede, di nya na level ng mga intermission leader” and it hurts me… not because I haven’t occupied any position but because he/she takes seriously the points that are earned for extra curricular…aside from that he/she suggests other personalities not suited for that position.. it hurts especially when I know I’m deserving!...another is avoiding my participation on any activities even on the flag ceremony!...well, he/she might be threatened that i can gain points on it! but I’m not that!...i don’t even jot it down on my e.c. paper…not like him.. he/she’s too bias – some of his e.c. are redundant…and guess what makes me hate him/her that much? It’s simply because he/she’s the one who wrote “impeachment: yes or no” on the board to take over my position as the classroom’s president for the simple and invalid reason that my paper was completely filled back to back plus another page of e.c…whew! he/she pisses me off…I’ll give him/her a hundred point for reaching my boiling point!

so as a sum: 5+3+10+100 = 118 points! Not bad for the physical (for making me pale when i talk to him/her) and moral damages he/she bequeath on me…

118 plus 882 more points and bang…I’ll make him/her twisted as I can…just kidding...lolz:]

a piece of advice: always brush your teeth so you won’t have any insecurities..♥

c-l-u-e: he is she…

Aurgh! I really hate this morning’s ceremony… just imagine a bamboo dribbling a ball in front of nearly 300 students! I was tasked to conduct our school’s march…ako’y nanliliit, as in talaga…biruin mo…feeling mo halos pinagtatwanan ka na ng lahat at wala kang maggawa dahil hindi ka naman pwedeng mag-walk out…grrr…!.. i really hate mayor narci for giving me that part on the program… i rattled a bit but I still deal with as good as I can… I can’t show my disappointments, of course…not in front of my fellow student…well, I guess I’m not that good to be a basketball player salivating nothing…I’m still learning from it..lolz:]..first, I want to go to school as late as I can but I can’t coz my parents will scold me and I’ll have a meal of sermons after all, it’s worst than expected…so with no more choice I took it rather to leave it…

anyway…it’s the first official school day – I’m in my complete uniform…and I was a bit desperate to let somebody have temporarily my second year books so I can earn money, but still, no one gets the deal on my negotiations…I read a book by Maeve Binchy on recess time and spend merienda with ‘dodz’…and kriiing! the second half of the class resume… whew! Chemistry sucks! It makes me puke…hakhak:]…the time flows easily that I didn’t even noticed that morning class was over…

and here I am again on my comfort zone… saying ‘holla’ for the mean time and suddenly ‘bye’…♥