Emote: She wears high heels. I wear sneakers. She’s the cheer captain while I’m on the bleachers. Dreaming about someday that somehow when I wake up I’ll realize that what I’m looking for has been her the whole time. But I guess I have to give up that sort of emotion; I believe that it is impossible for me to be loved back by a girl who has been carrying the pressure of the world on her shoulders. It’s the same feeling you can feel when you’re waiting for a ship at the airport.

De•vi•ance [dvee ənss]; noun – different, unusual or unacceptable behavior; behavior that is sharply different from a customary, traditional, or generally accepted standard. Deviance has been the word that had kept us apart. It is simply because people deem that being an emo, I don’t belong to her world and neither does she to mine. But I don’t get it, why do people have to set standards? Why do they have to label her as “perfect” and call me an “error? Earth is a place for everything where everything is in its place. They should understand that we are unique and we have different views, and they should not use that as a boundary to wall two, already distant, things. Instead, they must bridge it. I am invigorated with the fact that behind the shallows and tides in every affair of human, there has been always a positive side. We should view ourselves like dipoles – partially charged positive and partially charged negative. We can’t exist as positively or negatively charged alone. But despite the fact that we are uneven dipoles, there’s that Van der Waals force that binds us to be one – love.

Youth has been susceptible to love. But they should understand that love and making love are two different things. A friend once told me that she does not need to unbutton her shirt to show how she loves someone. That idea has changed the way I scrutinize love. Sex has been the focus of most of the youth today when it comes to love whether we admit it or not. We are fecund and we are about to be fertile. The capability to produce generation is within our reach, within our grasp, within our hands. We often say that “The night is young and so are we”, and we should be able to do and enjoy things while they are fresh for life is short and age might pass us by. For this, we become impulsive when it comes to our decisions. We usually rush into things like not having a second thought of doing such act. I really don’t disagree with the fact of having sex at an early age because it is normal and biological. What should the youth must realize is the verity that we must be conscientious of our act, and we need to be responsible of the things that we have started. I bet that having sex and being pregnant is not a mistake, negligence of the outcome is. It is like ‘wag mong subukan kung di mo kayang panindigan’.

You can drive at 16, go to war at 18. You can drink at 21 and retire at 65. So how old do you have to be before your love is real? Life is short to enjoy love and we should not make it shorter. Death is a thing we can’t escape but we can hasten so let’s be careful of our deeds. Statistics had shown the major causes of death – the fats, smoke, stress, alcohols, accident accountable of carelessness; but most of us don’t really take that seriously. I mean, we subscribe to that feeling that we are going to die if fate dictates so. But if we can sustain life and really wants to enjoy life to the fullest, why don’t we discard that lifestyle? A happy life is far better off than all the cigarettes or bottles of champagne in the world. We should try to see life as a mirror; once it’s broken you can never fix it.

People believe that to die is not to become dead; it is called buli, to return home. Our church had taught us the thought of eternal life. Yet, what if our religion is wrong and when we die we will all regret on why we subscribed to that religion? What if salvation does not exist and our prayers are just soft words being uttered? I am afraid I shall not find Him; but I shall still look for Him, whether if He exists or not. I believe He may be appreciative of my efforts. But I guess it’s wrong for me to doubt my faith and religion; it is not just a thing imposed on me but a thing I had earned all these time. There’s no such article like benefit of the doubt, all you have to do is trust God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

It’s absurd why I end up in God’s word from a thought of being an emo. Quite odd, right? But it shows one thing, they’re all correlated to one another. People might not be aware of the relationship of these things but someday, they’ll all realize it. What matters today is to live, love and laugh.

I woke up as my alarm clock started ringing; it must have been a hard time for me to accept the fact that I’m about to start a new chapter of my life. I went to the bathroom and tried to contact anyone of my best buddies to spare a junk of my time. Then I kept thinking that maybe I could still take back the decisions I came to realize and make some petty reasons to procrastinate the day. I can’t imagine myself on a room sitting right beside the panes and waving my hands to my high school, who are now imaginary, friends. But I guess this is the point of no return – no turning back, no second-thoughts, no coward steps. As I drew myself closer to my prospect, I asked myself if what else would enthrall me. I am captivated of the moment that Heraclites must be right, that things are about to change, as fast as they could, as abstemious and sober like we never expected at all, or just a breath away from what we used to live. This makes me wonder how long does it takes to change someone else’s life, what measure should be used in order to be that accurate to define change, or it is just enough to make things and life worth living for. I am quite cynical and skeptical about the word and the world of change. Being an upcoming college student, there are things that I’m already used to. I might be worn out about these things but at least I’m used to it, I haven’t felt any erroneous about it. Now, what if everything would change when I go to college? Change can strike everyone like a lightning. It may hit you in an open field anytime it wants to hit you. But the thing is how you handle it and how you’ll overcome it. I finally reached it. There’s that sort of welcome as the wind lingered on my skin, like a consolation that everything happens for a reason. The chairs seemed to wave on me saying I’m on the right track. It’s odd but I like it. My first class is about to start. Is this really the University of the Philippines or am I just high?

After almost 16 years in a place close to my heart and my comfort zone, in a place called home, I am now brought to an unfamiliar ground. This is what they named as dormitory – a place with no guardians bugging you, no curfews that would make you worry, no house chores that would batter you and the best of all, no set of rules to follow. A dormitory is quite an unusual sight for me. But this is my home for the rest of my days in college; I shouldn’t feel awkward about it. In a dorm, I can stay late as long as I want and browse the net until I drop. I can even drown myself in bottles of beers and liquors if I want to and regurgitate as frequent as I love to. In a dorm, I am entitled with liberation which is limited and sometimes debarred when I’m at home. My parents would require me to sleep and wake up early because I have lots of things to do. I have to sacrifice also Facebook and Friendster because I have to share the internet connection with my siblings. I can’t go home if I’m drunk or else I’ll be emancipated. But I guess, these are insignificant and paltry grounds to choose a dorm over a home. A dorm can never replace the taste of the home foods my mother used to cook just for me when I’m home. It can never drive me to and fetch me from school the way my father always does. I can proudly tell the world that my bed is more conducive for sleeping and have the superpowers to console me when I’m emotionally challenged compared to bunk bed provided by a dorm. Finally, our comfort room really gives you that kind of comfort you ought to deserve unlike the public CR in dorms that I won’t describe further or shall I require you to see it by yourself. Yes, I admit that I am kindled with dorms because I want to be independent but does it really matter at the end of the day? I mean, I’m still going to end up in home, right?

An upcoming college student would define the University of the Philippines as an avenue for learning the vitals of the real world, the current situation of the country and a training ground for the hope of the dilapidating homeland. In the eye of an elementary pupil, it’s the home of the genius, a compilation of the Philippine’s bests and intellectuals. Laymen would eventually associate it with the protests and rallies, revolts and reforms in the country as if all the scholars enrolled here are bound to be activists. For a student taking a degree program in the nation’s prime institution, it’s just a university like any other university. It’s a collection of students who came from different walks of life. Some are jocks, some are badly intelligent. There are loners and there are friend magnets. Some are the future’s next top ramp models; others are the future’s top role models and leaders. But for me, the University of the Philippines is an undefined one. No words can ever define its system. It’s like setting pressure towards its name. There’s no use in putting a simple thought to describe a complex subject. A part can never affirm a whole so as a word that would require all the sentences possible. There are things that shouldn’t be defined because if you do, you’re just painting out a scenario away from what you’re supposed to paint.


College is a great movie - action-packed, full of extra-ordinary performances and breath-taking scenes. This is quite true and it applies to the School of Technology. It’s an indie motion picture shot under the Paho Tree, the sweetest place on earth, and starred by most brilliant and splendid actors in world history; the chemical engineers and the food technologist. The story is about a man named Sotech who starts to make a name in the University of the Philippines, and makes a family of inevitable and unbreakable bond. But like any films, it has villains that undervalues and takes for granted its existence. They are Clovers, Redbolts, Elektrons, Skimmers, Cfos, Tycoons, Scions and Magnates. These scoundrels give spice to the life of Sotech but will eventually teach the lead character to fight and stand on its own. Need more scoops and sneak previews about the movie? Better watch it because I’m petty sure that it is the next big thing.

college stuffs i did these past few weeks.

dorm's acquaintance party. God! that was the best party ever. i can't imagine myself wearing clothes i used to wear when i was a kid, then get wild and wet on the dance floor til 4 am. haha. i was a dope there on a knee-leveled short topped with a pink long sleeved polo and a suspender. erg. but still, it's not about what you wear, it's all about what we were that night. so there's this likha thing. it's a talent competition and a team effort. gladly, we won! thanks to them. i was just a bystander there. haha. 'when the cat is away, the mice will play.' yea. that's exactly true. our dorm manager was out and so we were animals that night. tamed animals, of course. i was into this point of desperation to somehow steal the scene, so i stood up in the lounge area, it's a desk actually like in the hotels, and dance. i was not alone, we were two actually. but the oic that night requested us to vacate that area. [how sad :(]. the show went on, so did i.

rotc's second instruction. after the acquaintance party, we hurried up to the covered court for the rotc formation, had i told you that my nstp is rotc and not cwts? okay. now you know. so with eyes closed, mind not on proper set, butterflies turning into dragons inside my stomach, we were still able to attend the second instruction. it was actually great, like the stuffs i used to do in CAT, facing and commands, but imagine, your a vegetable there. being drowsy plus hungry is death. exaggerated, a bit. nywei, we let time pass us by. and tadaa--- time's up. good bye sir. 'sir, yes sir.'

sotech's acquaintance party. i was sick that time. h2n2 actually [naglevel up?? haha]. yet i reconsider because i was the prayer guy. so the theme was a post-summer getaway. i wore an all white attire, with yellow shutter shades and a white vintage beach cap. i'm topped with a sponge bob shirt, paired with a white beach pants. the food was good but waiting for it ain't a virtue anymore. we played games like paint me a picture. our group won one scenario - the exorcism. haha. on our batch presentation, i wish i wasn't there like i can vanish and teleport or make myself invisible. but it happened. haha. then disco til 12. i filed a late permit but i went home early. like what i'd said, i was sick. ahuh-ahuh [coughs*. btw, sotech is my academic org.

rotc's third instruction. waah. the day i won't ever forget. maybe. i was again late for the formation. shaving my beard and mustache is a first time, glad to say it's an aphrodisiac but sad to say it's time consuming. so i was late, and i was given the chance to pick my own punishment. squat thrust [just correct me if i'm wrong with the spelling], i don't know the UP way. push up, i might end up with nothing, no way! pumping, okay.
ed: pumping na lang, sir.
sir: pambabae lang yan.
ed: take it or leave it! sige na, please.
sir: ok.
after that, instructions were given and then the exhausting part. we jogged almost 2 kms around the campus til we reached the covered court and have a physical exercise. passing rate? 40 push ups, 40 curl ups. i tried to pass the push up but i was stucked to 14. i passed curls up. yepee. i thought that was all. but it was just a thought. they still have surprise activities like drills, eating foods we don't know at first because we were blindfolded then finding out it's a banana with catsup, taking off shoes and wearing it again and again. tiresome. zzzzz*.

sotech's group dynamics. in preparation of the strenous activities in the future, we had this group activity. they say that it's away for us to know more of people we are about to work with. foundation day and sports competition are the university's highlight for the first semester. we were grouped into 6 and played a getting-to-know-your-name game. it's all private. i can't blog it. but i won two times in a row with that game. haha. the rest of the story must be a secret. so that would be all. woah*.

more activities in UP's calendar, i'll update you if i have time.
see you.

i remember when i joined the pop dance competition way back into my junior years. well, it was actually my first dance competition, aside from cheerdance and folk dance, for school officers are banned to join such competitions. anyways, the title of the dance is "push it" by corbin bleu. as we danced as wild as we could, the only thing that was being puffed on my mind is the fact that we need to dance because it's the only time that we seemed to be less knotty. but, i guess, that ideology was mine and i don't have any idea about what they [my co-dancers kuno :)] think about. and we won the said contest, made the school's last song syndrome, popularized the figure/step.

i guess, you're wondering why i'm in the blogging mode [bragging mode] about that. but it's not like that. i really don't care at all about winning and dancing, but what provoked me to write now is the lyric or line from our contest piece. it says that, "push it. push it to the limit."

i'm currently enrolled in a 5-year course and i'll have to label it because it has a label. toinkx. mkay. so i'm taking up bachelor of science in chemical engineering - an unexpected degree. i've always dreamt of counting paper bills in banks abroad or sitting on an airconditioned office while waiting for someone to approach me and ask me about notarization process. i was admitted in bachelor of arts in political science and i was planning ahead of time to switch to bs accountancy. then, here comes the evil scholarship who ruined the plans of great grandpa eduardo. my interests were not accredited by the scholarship and so i have to be divulged into something to avail it. *sighs. but i believe that somehow i'm destined to love chem eng. it's a mystery and i have to figure it out.

i really hate chemistry. i used to hide my face and my ears in thick books while our chem teacher who was named miley cyrus though she was named after a chemical substance [the hell we care. peace out maam. :)] is in the bridge of her boring concert. i failed also in the eight essential amino acid exams and i just don't find myself within it. but she [our teacher] was one of the reasons why i commit an educational suicide, i didn't choose any fields because i was inspired by the fact that she graduated holding a degree in bs mathematics but she went to school again and studied chemistry. and looking her now, apart from seeing her with whipped chalks on her hair, she is now on her dissertation for her doctorals. see, i can be like her someday if i'll learn to love what i'm holding and taking what is just being served as of the moment.

hmmp. i'm really pushing myself into the limit. after educational suicide, i'm now into social suicide. what would you expect from a promdi in an activist-filled, center of excellence university?? oh God. take my life. just jesting. nywei, i'm not just enrolled in a wrong degree, i'm also enrolled in the wrong school. not that i don't like UP, it was my dream school after all. take note "was". continuation: it feels like it's intimidating and be it. don't drop the fact that you're not solely existing. stepping on the grounds of the great oblation statuesque, is a great decision, i guess. but i had to make a choice and i just did. and i figured out that it would be the best if i won't turn my back. this is the point of no return, i have to swallow my fears. haha. btw, it's an odd feeling, how i hate being here but loving to be labeled as an "isko". it's really a strike. a nerve-cracking one. it just keeps on repeating inside my head like an 'injured' cd - university of the philippines [visayas], one of the homes of the chosen ones. oha.

so now, it turned out that the stuff i hated most, the school i used to dream converges in a single jiffy. i guess this is the so-called karma and i have to love it by hook or by crook. this is not pushing myself into my boundaries, this is discovering that what i thought as my limit is not a limit after all, that i'm not capsulized. for it is the time when we learn to face what we fear most or what we hate most that we know what are ourselves really made of. i'm a bit scared about what lies ahead. i'm hesitant though i'm so desperate. how frustrating!

i'll have to update this site about my current college status, about what i'm into, about what i have to do, about college life itself. that's all for now.

"no matter what i do, what i say, what i believe, i'm bankrupt without love."

i'm planning to order [planning pa lang naman, i might change my mind]. help me naman.

uhm, from sindikatoinc.multiply.com

gusto mo rin buh? astig hindi ba??

my first speech in UP Visayas.

Good morning.

At this moment, we, the newest set of Iskolar ng Bayan are taking a major switch from our dramatic world of high school to the action-packed, reality-oriented portals of college. College is just a place somewhere in the world. It may look like it’s your world or maybe it’s nothing like it. But, if you’ll look closer, you might see someone like you, someone trying to find his way, his place, and his self. It could be a replica of what you thought of yourself. But whatever it is that we are seeking here in the country’s premiere university, we should instill on our mind that we are here not just to taste what college is but also to take a part of what is it.

For me, being in the University of the Philippines Visayas is both a boon and a bane. Boon, for we are the so-called chosen ones and bane, for the expectations are really stressing us out. It’s absurd to imagine that out of the thousand students who took entrance examination, we are hardly any in here to face the more challenging yet fulfilling college life. This is the real thing and we should make the most of our stay here. We, the freshmen, came from different walks of life. Some are jocks, some are badly intelligent. Some are high school prom queens and kings; others didn’t even go to their school prom. There are loners and there are friend magnets. But I guess, the university doesn’t care much about who we are and who we probably used to be. They are much aware and concerned about who are we going to be years from now and so we should let go of our identity. We can never sail far if we won’t lose the sight of the shore. Anyway, one thing to admire in UP is their capacity to mold our future. When it comes to quality education, there’s nothing to more to ask from this university. What you see is what you get. And I’m sure that our parents made a good investment by sending us here.

Most of us freshmen are still on that homesick mode. Initial feeling, right? After almost 16 years in our comfort zone, we are now brought to unfamiliar grounds and we struggle to cope. But this is our home for the rest of our days in college; we shouldn’t feel ill at ease and tongue-tied. Friends are here to make our stay worthwhile so we’ll have to see them starting today.

Apart from that, we can count on two groups – the first is the upper class. They were right here before and so they can lead and guide us; maybe to the right, where I guess there’s nothing left or probably to the left, where there’s nothing right. We’ve met some on our orientation, and as observed, they let us feel that we are welcome here and we are part of the university. And that’s a good thing to look forward to. Some are familiar to us way back in high school, others are just popular enough that we used to know them by their names, by their faces; nevertheless, there are still lots of faces here we are about to bump along the campus and we should feel free to befriend them. The second group is the university’s personnel, faculty and staffs, it’s early to tell what they look like or what they can do or what they are about to do to us. But I’m quite sure of two things; first, they can really help us, not just in our studies but also on how we will live our life here. Second, I know they’re good because if they’re not, then they’re probably better or the best.

We have so many things to anticipate but let me just share my expectations which some of you expects too. Aside form terrific and stunning teachers, peaceful and conducive place to learn, mile walk from building to the next building, rallies and expressive forums, certified UP activities like the oblation run, meeting new friends, aside from what we are expecting most, we should expect the unexpected. This is UP, and everything is possible.

Finally, I want to end this talk with an inspiring quote from Shakespeare. It says that, “There’s a tide in the affairs of men, which taken on to flood leads on to fortune. Omitted, all the voyage in their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea, we are now afloat and we must take the current when it serves or lose our ventures.” It means that life is too short and opportunities are rare. We have to be vigilant in order to look after them. By this, I mean not only to the opportunities to succeed but the chance to laugh and see the enchanting world. Let’s take every step because time passes us all by one.

We are thankful to the University for their hospitability and the warm welcome they afforded us. It’s nice for us, the freshmen, to feel that we are actually here and we are part of the UP community.

I guess that’s all I can offer. Thank you. Good day and see you when I see you.

1:21 am na pero ang inyong lingkod ay hindi pa rin natutulog.

mukhang pinapagod ang sarili sa kakababad sa magdamagang internet na parang hindi siya nakapaglog-in sa talambuhay niya. pero hayaan na natin si lolo dahil masyado siyang problemado; problemado nga ba siya? o gumamagawa lang siya ng sarili niyang problema? sinong nakakaalam kung ano ang takbo ng kanyang pag-iisip? pero isa lang siguro ang dahilan kung bakit halos ganito siya buong linggo at kung ano man yun, 'believe it or not, just drop it. prying kills a cat, and i hope you're not'. seh. napaenglish ang gago.^^

sa kasalukuyan, maihahambing ko ang aking sarili sa hayden-katrina scandal, o sa a(h1n1), or sa con-ass [or cha-cha wateyber thing na yan]. bakit? pareho kaming may mga isyu. siyempre iba-iba. sa akin, pansarili lamang at hindi yung tipo na ikayayamot ng sambayanan dahil sa pagkalat nito na parang sirang plaka. haha. at ang kaibahan? aside sa parehong nagmula sa mga baboy ang tatlo. haha. [enough. baka masampahan na ako ng kaso sa pinagsusulat ko. feeling:)]. anyway, liban doon. di hamak naman na mas madali itong lutasin. well, ihalintulad natin sa isang algebraic problem, specifically yung kinkailangan ng quadratic formula. unang tingin parang ang hirap, pero madali lang siya yun nga lang masyadong marami ka pang dapat na isolve, dapat unahin para magtapos ka sa tamang sagot [aba, mathematician-wannabe ata.]. at oo, matagal. that's the difference between "hard" and "rigorous" or "exhausting" [at nagyon, parang expert sa linguistics.].

ano nga ba ang problema? ok, magbibigay ako ng sitwasyon. iinom ka ng "wine", ano ang uunahin mo - ang alak o ang yelo? hindi mo pwedeng pagsabayin kasi, dadalawa lang ang kamay mo eh. so kailangan mong pumili, pwede mong unahin ang yelo, tapos isunod ang alak. pwede rin na baliktad. pero ang punto, dapat mayroon kang unahin. sa kaso ko, pwede kong unahin ang alak kaso mukhang useless na siya kasi, unti-unti nang matutunaw ang yelo sa ice bucket o sa kamay ko. kaya ito ang inuuna ko sa ngayon. kasi ang alak, nasa bote naman yan kung talagang paro sayo, diba? di naman yan mawawala. unless, nakawin ng iba or worst, inumin ng iba. pero, siguro nga, hindi kasing dali ng kuwento ng alak at yelo ang kuwento ko. ito ay binubuo ng mga taong mahal ko, ng mga pangarap ko, ng sarili ko.

at sa totoo lang, nasasaktan ako. kasi walang gustong umintindi ng desisyon ko. na kasalanan ko kasi pwede naman ding ipagsabay. well, ikaw siguro makakaya mo, pero ako ay hindi ikaw at ikaw ay kailanma'y hindi magiging ako. nakakapagdagdag lang sa pasanin ko ang mga impresyon na sa katunayan ay hindi ko naman dapat pinapansin pero heto pa rin kasi ako, tao - napapagalaw rin ng emosyon. balang araw, makikita rin nila siguro ang punto ko. but i'm not closing doors to the fact that i might be the one who chose the wrong path. anyways, sinasabi ng ilan na "hindi ko raw siya mahal", bakit, ano bang alam nila sa pagmamahal at isusumbat nila sa akin ang mga katagang iyan? nararamdaman ba nila ang nararamdaman ko sa tuwing kasama ko siya at kapag wala siya? naririnig ba nila ang bawat tibok ng puso kong kumakalabog pagnakikita ko siya? nakikita ba nila ang saya kapag kausap ko siya? kung oo, alam mo bang naging buhay ko na rin siya? kung hindi naman, shut up ka na lang. pls. at ang epal mo para sabihin na sana hindi ko na lang sana inumpisahan para walang masaktan. bakit sino ka ba, ha? sino ka para diktahan ako, kung ano ang iisipin ko? kung ano ang itatakbo ng kuwento ko? kung ano ang dapat kung maramdaman? "palagi ka kasing nakatitig sa mga bagay na gusto mong tingnan, bakit di mo kaya subukang pakinggan ang mga katagang hindi mo pa napapakinggan at mas lalong hindi mo pa nakita? baka sakaling malaman mo kung ano ang dapat mong maramdaman."

at ikaw naman, hindi na ako magsasayang ng load ko para ipaliwanag sa iyo ang lahat. hindi na rin kita kukulitin sa ym at sa friendster. hindi na rin ako magtetext sa cellphone mo, hindi na ako magpaparamdam. pagod na rin siguro ang gagong 'to sa kakahabol sa iyo para makipag-usap. kung ayaw mo, eh di wag. tapos ang kuwento. pero tandaan mo lang sana, na hindi ako nagbago ng pakiramdam, may kinakailangan lang akong unahin. at marahil nga tama ako sa naging desisyon ko, kasi ngayon pa lang, nakikita ko na walang tao na makakapagtimpi sa kung paano ko pinapapagalaw ang mundo ko. at wag mong sabihin na hindi kita minahal dahil sa totoo lang, *wag na lang siguro. wala din naman akong maipagyayabang bilang katibayan baka mapahiya pa ako.

pero hindi naman ako ikaw. marahil nga ay nasaktan kita, at mas marami akong intindihin sa iyo.

haay. nawalan na ako ng naiisip.
masyadong gabi na. aiie. toinkx.
umaga na pala. haha.
manonood ata kami maya-maya sa OWL ng sunrise.
OWL is Ocean Wet Laboratory. [tama ba?]
may dagat kasi doon.
nywei. gutom na ako ngayon.
pringles and fit n right for breakfast.
nagkakahawaan na rin dito ng flu at fever.
next victim ata ako. haha.
paano ba yan?
mukhang inaantok na ako uh.
goodnight na lang :]

but while reading this, just listen and put in the comment box the english line on the track currently playing.

the white starlight wraps around my tears

my tears fall against the warm breeze

can you feel it?

the quiet trembling for you.

i draw you on white paper

your warm smile envelopes me is this love?

i see you even when I close my eyes.

i will be waiting for you

i will wait for you

i wont show my tears any longer

you let me know about this false love

i wont let go because it's you.

i'm walking through our memories

tears well up in my heart

what should I do?

i even long for you in my dreams.

i will be waiting for you

i will wait for you

i wont show my tears any longer

you let me know about this false love

i wont let go because it's you.

look at me like the stars in the sky

can't you be the one in my heart.

i will be waiting for you

i will wait for you

i wont show my tears any longer

you let me know about this false love

i wont let go because its you.

•are you a carrot? an egg? or a coffee bean?

in our study improvement session, still at dost summer orientation and enrichment program, we are asked first if how well do we know ourselves. and then, she asked everyone else if fate favors us to be a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean, what would we be and why?

then she showed up a presentation. we read it and i’ll share with you what have i learned from the session.

a young girl asked her father what’s the difference between people. her father had her at the table then he pick a casserole and put it on fire. he then pour a boiling water into the casserole and one by one lay into it the carrot, the egg and the coffee bean. he told her daughter to cover the casserole and be back after sixty minutes.

twenty minutes had passed and the daughter asked her father what does it means. the father replied – haven’t you noticed the changes? these three will characterize the difference between people. they were all put into the same instance, same adversity, same temperature and same boiling water. the carrot turned squashy and spongy. the egg seemed to break its shell and became a hard-boiled egg. the coffee bean vanished but it is still there, the aroma, the color and it turned the boiling water into a coffee.

the young girl was curious and retorted – so? does that makes people differ father? i mean, what would the carrot and the egg and the coffee bean have to do with people? is it what they eat most? or what they prefer to it?

the father reacted – no, dear. the carrot, the egg and the coffee bean are the people. life comes at us rushing from out of the darkness and when it does, we struggle to find the courage to face it. it is when we are in test we discover truly who are we and find out who can we be.

are you a carrot?

- the ones who seemed to be so strong, well-built and sturdy but once tested and put into life’s difficulty will drastically turned into yielding ones. these are the ones who pretend to be enormous, as if no one could ever defeat them and put them down but they are just dead serious fooling their selves knowing that they are just pretending. they are easily worn out and let the challenges make them weak.

are you an egg?

-the ones who seemed to be on their comfort zone, the weaklings and the soft-hearted but when examined into massive harsh conditions would find out that they can be as strong as anyone else and come up beyond their shells. these are the fragile ones, they are always put into test. people look at them as scrawny and unable to fight for their selves. but when you reach their boiling point, they will suddenly evolve into someone afar from every expectation. they learn to fight back when they have to.

or are you a coffee bean?

-the kind of persons that would change the adversity as something that could be a part of them, that would be positive and look every difficulty as a form of ordeal to make them stunning. these are the ones who are capable of changing the world. they have the solutions to make things better when they are tested. they don’t fight back, they just let the disputation pass by and be who they are until such disputation become its strength.

if i’ll ask you now, what would you be – a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?